If you’ve spent much time with teenagers, particularly females, you’ve probably picked up on how difficult living with low self-esteem is. Even when you’re with your adult female friends, chances are you’re silently comparing yourself to them and feeling like you don’t measure up. And they're probably doing the same.
Low self-esteem isn’t only difficult, it’s also entirely too common. Numerous sources can contribute to having low self-esteem. Its roots can begin in the earliest days of childhood due to familial causes. But it can also begin later in childhood and on into adolescence and young adulthood. And if it isn’t addressed during these times, it can persist even into adulthood.
So, why is it such a big struggle, especially for women?
Understanding the reasons behind low self-esteem is the first step to understanding. And understanding can lead to healing and new confidence in yourself.
Societal Expectations of Beauty
Society, particularly in the western world, has great expectations for women. But these expectations aren’t necessarily great or realistic—or even desirable.
If you’ve heard it once, you’ve probably heard it a thousand times: advertisers and social media create (unrealistic) standards of female beauty and appearance. They do this in their quest to sell products and gain followers. Living amidst the pressure of these images, which are everywhere, often sparks the beginning of a young woman’s struggle with self-esteem.
Society “tells” her what it values about women. And she may try to live up to it but feel like she never reaches her goals.
Unfortunately, these pressures begin in girlhood and last long into womanhood. But it is possible to find the self-confidence and inner fulfillment to shake off this source of low self-esteem.
Lingering Traditional Norms
Despite the many gains made for women’s rights to pursue education and careers, traditional expectations and beliefs about a woman’s role still persist in many families and subcultures.
It’s frequently expected that a woman will be the one to put her dreams on hold in order to support her husband’s career goals. Even if her partner claims he wants to help equally with child-rearing and domestic tasks, research shows that the female partner still tackles the bulk of these responsibilities. Add to that the problem that many workplaces may retain outdated notions of how far a female can advance in their hierarchy.
When women receive and experience these messages, even if they’re subtle, they may learn to doubt their own abilities. After all, if others don’t believe in them, it’s that much harder to believe in themselves. And wanting to do it all—career, super mom, active community member—can cause women to feel frustrated when they don’t have the support needed to make it all happen. This can lead to a sense of helplessness and low self-esteem.
Biophysiological Causes
Researchers have studied how a female’s changing hormones throughout her menstrual cycle affect her emotionally. They’ve discovered that a large percentage of women experience a big drop in self-esteem and resilience a few days before their period. This, of course, is caused by the hormones.
A woman may not realize why these days of sadness and self-doubt occur so frequently. As a result, she can easily feel guilt and self-condemnation. She may feel like she just can’t keep it all together, like her emotions get the best of her.
Educating and reminding women about this source of low self-esteem is vital.
Brain Structure and Negative Thinking
It’s been found that the part of the brains responsible for interpreting the emotions of others is larger in women than in men. Women are typically more attuned to the responses of the people around them, for a number of reasons.
While this can be a great strength, it also means that women are more likely to overthink and misinterpret the words, gestures, responses, and even facial movements of those around them. Over time, this can lead to negative thinking about one’s self and low self-esteem.
Finding Healing
It may seem that the odds are stacked against women who face the great struggle of low self-esteem. After all, our culture and even our own endocrine systems and brains appear to raise hurdles to self-confidence.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. As a therapist specializing in women’s mental health needs, I have found several approaches that get to the core of low self-esteem. These methods can help you replace negative thinking and self-doubt with confidence and courage. Please contact me to find out more.
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